This page offers some advice on how to deal with children during divorce
- Important messages
- What children need
- How to talk to your kids
Important Messages to Give Your Children
Tell your children:
- "I love you. I will always be available."
- "It's not your fault."
- That feelings are okay. It's not wrong to feel sad, angry, etc. as well as to miss and love both parents.
- Actions must be controlled.
What Children Need
- To have a positive relationship with both parents.
- To have their parents communicate directly so they are not trapped in the middle.
- To avoid hearing one parent criticize the other.
- To have private time with each parent weekly.
How to Talk to Your Kids
- Listen attentively. Make eye contact.
- Acknowledge the child's feelings without trying to fix them. Example: "It sounds like you are angry," instead of, "Cheer up. Don't be upset."
- Give the child his wishes in fantasy. Example: "I wish I could make that come true for you."
- Remember all feelings are to be accepted and respected even though certain actions must not be tolerated
©2009 Life Transitions Inc.